I ’m cash in one’s chips . ๐
For some reason, the best tweets always seem to happen on weekends. Here are some funny ones that recently came across my timeline.
If you liked these tweet , make trusted to give these drug user a follow for more peculiar cognitive content !
1.
you polish off one curb and they curse you ca nโt drive
2.
Oh I love her music!pic.twitter.com / TRQ4xlaVEG
3.
Exactly what a haunt house would saypic.twitter.com/MdG7SHb89A
4.
Not to expose myself for being dumb โ but the vet say me my blackguard had a spot that might be a malignant melanoma and the first words out of my oral fissure were โ oh that does run in our crime syndicate . โ Like , I really leave for a sec that I did not give birth to her .
5.
when you have to air your friend a stately employment emailpic.twitter.com/z9S3DFldhB
6.
exhaust 100 grams of protein a day but I do nโt raise so it โs snuff it straight to my mentality . Just call back how to do farsighted sectionalisation
7.
โ would yโ all slap me forโโpic.twitter.com/bUZQsxDvZQ
8.
Rapunzel if she had twitterhttps://t.co/QaBwTTuhwr
9.
british people are like " i was in Uni " and they imply preschool or some shit idk i m tired of their nates
10.
Atleast someone loves me and fight for me . I love u my white blood cells
11.
two mute btches telling each other " exactlyyyyy"pic.twitter.com / lGzfajIkri
12.
Snap and Crackle after confab the hospitalhttps://t.co/LOjMyZGfN3
13.
Why did I call a job ask if they ’re engage and they articulate no we ’re send away LMFAOOOOOOO
14.
you desire me to turn 27 ? the number of dresses that killed katherine heigl ? ?
15.
me acting like the spirits not strongpic.twitter.com/2xv43aY3Mf
16.
i was definitely turn out in the right era . i have intercourse being capable to distinguish men to shut the fck up without being lobotomized .
17.
how it feel to live with your parents in your twentiespic.twitter.com/Zcon387tXw
18.
Is somebody gon na match my sleep ๐ฉ https://t.co/myCvcKT9ro
19.
20.
My nephew just told this man in Chipotle โ My aunty โs eubstance is NOT for your eyes!โI was feel so protected & loved til I turned around to see the finest homo I ever seen in my life . Gotta show my nephew a flow chart
21.
me : hi , how can i help you?customers : pic.twitter.com / CrOPaciWYK
22.
Why is this filmed like an sequence of Keeping Up With The Kardashianshttps://t.co/CfZ0WCFDMM
23.
this is how it feels to be 16 and your best ally just have their permit and you are going to Taco Bellpic.twitter.com/CxHxUEk8dG
24.
The 16 year old tike bag my food market necessitate me how my day was going and I say โ ca nโt complain โ and he respond โ plausibly would nโt do any good if you did โ and frankly that tike is a full-strength shooter with upper direction potential difference save all over him .
Like reading funny weekend tweets? Check out more of themhere.
