" I told him his personality is bribable and he failed my trial of being a decent person . "
Dating can be difficult, especially the first date when you’re trying to connect with someone who is practically a stranger…
Onthis threadposted in the “Am I The Asshole” subreddit, the OP (original poster) is asking if they’re in the wrong for turning a man down because of his “gold digger test”. Here’s what went down:
BTW : Am I The Asshole is a discussion varlet on Reddit where users ask for advice on whether or not they are the asshole in the site .
“I went on a date with a guy, who I met through a dating app. The date started out good, we had a great time until I asked him what he does for work.”
“He said he is a tradesman and I asked what kind. He seemed to hesitate for half a second, and then said carpenter.”
“I started asking him questions, like what kind of carpentry he does, furniture, structural, roofing, etc. Carpentry is such an interesting topic so I was genuinely curious. But he fumbled and kind of tried to change the topic, which I was not having.”
“He ended up admitting that he is not a carpenter, he just wanted to test me.”
“He apparently makes a lot of money and wants women to like him because of his personality and not for his money. So he has to be cautious and made up a ‘low-paying job’ as a test.”
“When I was complaining to one of my friends, she said that I overreacted a bit and at least should’ve asked about his past experiences, because he has probably been burned before and I have no idea what it’s like to be a high-earning man. But I kind of do have an idea, as I work with a lot of well-paid men and none of them do outrageous bullshit like this. AITAH?”
Of course, people haven’t been shy about sharing their opinions…
Most users think OP isnotthe A-hole:
" NTA . We have no evidence that he really is a in high spirits earning man . Just his word . But you do have grounds that he is a prevaricator . "
u / grayblue_grrl
" NTA , this dude has luggage you probably do n’t necessitate to be manage with . "
u / Top_Airport6285
" NTA . I go on a day of the month with a like cat and he was bally insufferable . If he respect himself so extremely because of his earning he should be looking for a high up - earning woman or just planning on a solid prenup , not going around test fair sex with lies . "
u / Big_Zucchini_9800
" Possible red flag on top of the test : he assume a carpenter is beneath what he does if he use it as the ' low - pay job ' option . A skilful carpenter can make banking concern , and it is not easy physically OR mentally . I would be implicated about how he comprehend others and the supposition he makes about their places in society . "
u / altarwisebyowllight
But there are also some users who think OPisthe A-hole:
" YTA . I know several moneyed citizenry who keep it conceal because whenever they by chance leak out any kind of clue of wealth , many people abruptly take a keen interest . Guys attempt to convince them to ' endow ' , and women start flirting hard . Even normal non - affluent guy cable I know complain about fair sex angle for free drink and free cover and free repast . As such , he was on defense reaction because he did n’t know if you were one of the 99.99 % of parasitic hoi polloi out there . "
u / No - Dependent963
" YTA for overreacting like that . Dude was probably get for a drive because of his money before and is trying to be cautious . "
u / Medium_Conclusion417
" Yes , YTA . The first escort is n’t when you let on every personal item of your aliveness . I would agree that you are incompatible , and a second date might not be a estimable idea . "
u / lacajuntiger
My take? It’s normal and acceptable to ask someone what their job is on the first date. It isn’t normal, however, to lie to someone about said job and then claim it’s all part of some “test”. Look, I’m not saying he hasn’t been used for his money in the past, but really? On a first date, that’s the impression you want to give? I think that says everything, looks like OP dodged a huge red flag.
take note : All submissions have been edited for length and/or limpidity .
extra thumbnail credit : Nickelodeon
