" I can no longer deal with the ' new ' eccentric of parent and the ' new ' type of child that is a product of the parent that I am trying to instruct … "
Being a teacher can be a difficult job, and after 24 years in the profession, Brenda C. (@fitpeanut) officially retired — but not before telling her TikTok audience why.
In the TikTok, she then addresses how some parents send their students to class without supplies, such as pens, pencils, books, and notebooks, which ultimately affect learning time. That, paired with interruptions in the classroom that Brenda describes as “insurmountable,” makes teaching feel “virtually impossible.”
She then compares teaching to being a babysitter, stating that it’s not an over-exaggeration to say that teachers have to put out “fires” all the time. The middle-school teacher explains how she can no longer put up with some of the “new” parents she has to work with. Brenda says in the video, “I can no longer deal with the ‘new’ type of parent and the ‘new’ type of child that is a product of the parent that I am trying to teach.”
As Brenda has observed, some students seemingly don’t care about school because their parents don’t. As she puts it, if parents cared, she would see students in the classroom who did as well. To elaborate, Brenda told BuzzFeed that before, parents worked as partners with teachers and that they were more accountable for their child’s learning and behavior in the classroom. Now, it appears that some homes are “child-centered,” meaning the kids are in charge. As a result, students take that “untouchable” attitude into the classroom.
Brenda says that not only are some parents seemingly not involved in their child’s education, but they also don’t respect the profession. Aside from classroom learning, the 60-year-old teacher told BuzzFeed that some parents “don’t appear to be teaching their children the basic life skills such as how to self-regulate, how to act in social situations, how to speak to an adult, how to manage their emotions, and how to respect physical boundaries.”
And it appears that Brenda is not the only one feeling this shift in teaching. Among the over 9,000 commenters on her TikTok, other teachers voiced their opinions, with one user saying, “She’s speaking the truth. I’ve been an educator for 32 yrs, poured my heart and soul into every student, but things are different now. The disrespect from both children and parents.”
Meanwhile, parents of students commented in support of Brenda, agreeing with some of her points. “Thank you for your service, ma’am,” a user said. “Parents aren’t parenting. They are just having kids and trying to be their friend.” On the other hand, another commenter stated that they recognize the parents' and teachers' sides. “I think it goes both ways,” the person said. “We parents and teachers need to come together to change. Some parents work 2 jobs I hate the days I can’t spend 2 mins with my kids because of work.”
That said, Brenda believes that some parents seemingly don’t care as much because it appears that many of them have “outsourced” parenting to technology and social media and care more about being their child’s friend or being perceived as a “cool parent.” She told BuzzFeed, “As of late, we have become such a feelings-based society, so instead of teaching their child how to become empowered or practicing a little bit of tough love, they acquiesce because some of these kids have been reared to be overly fragile.”
According to Brenda, what unequivocally makes this generation of students different is social media and tech and how some students are overly attached to them. Consequently, it appears students have lost important social skills, such as conversing and regulating their emotions. “The social media drama works its way into the schools and into the classrooms,” Brenda explained. “In turn, this means your teacher is not teaching anymore but now must be referee. Then, you’ll have some parents who will lash out at the teacher for not handling the situation accurately when this is not the teacher’s job. The teacher is hired to teach. It’s up to the parents to create boundaries with tech usage and social media. Not the teacher.”
That reason, paired with the constant interruptions in the learning environment, among other things, is why Brenda decided to retire after more than two decades in the profession. As she says in the TikTok: “I have had it.” As it turns out, Brenda had planned on teaching for another 10 years but couldn’t do it anymore. “Teaching is a dying profession,” she says. “I, for one, have 24 years of experience, and I am leaving. Another experienced teacher bites the dust.”
Though Brenda has officially closed the door on teaching, her advice for teachers currently struggling is to try not to take anything too personally. “It’s not about you. It’s about society,” she told BuzzFeed. “However, once your own mental health starts to become an issue, it might be time to rethink your career.”
For more content from Brenda, you can follow her onTikTok.
