" [ Another mom ] told me I was being difficult and making this all hard than it ask to be . "
Mom groups can either be incredibly helpful for those needing the resources orincredibly unhinged, and after reading anow-viral postby a mom who hates the idea of a dad entering their chat, I feel confident in saying she’s the unhinged type.
Here’s the story in the mom, usernotcomfyaita’s, own words: “I am a single mother to two kids (5 and 3). Both my kids are in daycare, and over the years, I have built a solid friend group with a handful of other moms, and our kids regularly get together for playdates.”
" The Father-God of my kid is not in the picture at all , and my relationship with him is nonexistent . This is 100 % for the ripe , and I am presently in therapy to dish out with a mint of thing that my ex did to me . This Quaker group has literally been a lifesaver for me at times . "
“A few months ago, there were two new kids that started at our daycare center. They are similar in age to my kids and were placed in the same classes as them. I noticed that their dad was the only parent to ever pick up or drop off the kids. He would try to make small talk with me a few times, but I am uncomfortable around strange men so I would be polite but would not engage further than that.”
" Our mom chemical group has a group Old World chat that we expend to support each other and arrange playdates . A few hebdomad ago , one of the moms texted that she was add this new dad to our group chatbecause he wanted to have his kids enter in playdates outside of daycare . "
“I privately texted that other mom and told her that I don’t feel comfortable with a man I don’t know having my contact information, and told her that she should have consulted all of us before deciding on her own to add him to our group chat. I then texted the rest of the moms and told them that I want them to keep a separate group chat without the other dad because I don’t know him, and it makes me uncomfortable.”
" This resulted in a mountain of divided opinion with about half of the moms agree to a separate chat and the other half saying that would be too difficult to keep track of and that it is awry to leave off another parent just because he ’s a valet and that I ’m being unreasonable .
The mom I texted privately replied that she has talked with this pappa legion times , thathe seems like a nice someone and good parent , and that his youngster should n’t be leave off if they desire to hang out with their protagonist outside of daycare . She tell me I was being unmanageable and making this all hard than it call for to be . "
“The other day when I picked up my kids, my 5-year-old was upset because a bunch of his friends were talking about a playdate that he wasn’t invited to. I texted the moms about it, and they said that they were getting the kids together with the new dad and didn’t invite my kids because of how I was acting. I told them it was rude to exclude my kids like that, and a couple of the moms told me to grow up because that’s exactly what I was trying to do to this dad and his kids.”
" I ’m at a loss because these moms have been so supportive to me in the past , and as soon as this dad comes into the picture , it ’s like they pulled a 180 and do n’t seem to manage at all . There are still other moms who agree with me , but now it ’s like our friend group has been divided by this . "
Please join me in saying: Welcome to the consequences of your own actions.
Now, I will say that our mom isn’t completely in the wrong here. If she doesn’t want to share her contact information, she doesn’t have to. BUT, every action comes with a result.
" You are n’t the bad guy for not wanting your personal middleman information share with a individual you do not know ( regardless of grammatical gender ) or for not wanting to participate in activities where citizenry you do n’t bed are present , " RedditorVivacious - Hiccupresponded . " But you do not get to prescribe what the other momma in the group do … It sounds like they ultimately abide by it by NOT inviting you to an effect where the dad would be present … Do n’t get broken when hoi polloi esteem your boundaries because what you really wanted was for them to piece you over someone else . You ’re the asshole . "
Many agreed that she was wrong for trying to exclude the dad and say she’s projecting her bad experiences with men on to a person who had nothing to do with that situation.
" You ca n’t essay to debar him and then quetch that it was turned around back to you . You get what you give , " userBulbasaurRanchsaid . " He ’s look out for his Thomas Kid and wants to have societal tangency for them . You render to bully your elbow room into excluding him . He ’s done nothing to you . He does n’t merit to be excluded because you have trauma with your ex-wife . Your harm are your own to deal out with , not force others to accommodate your selfish neediness . You are being excessive . You are being hard . Now your kids are facing the repercussions of your action . "
“And quite frankly, well done to the other mums not caving in to pressure from you to exclude another single parent trying to do the best for their child,” userSun_Sea_and_Sonyadded.
" As women , we have suffered with favouritism for centuries and felt at first hand how unmanageable living can be when you ’re not taken seriously in a part just because of your sexuality . Now you need to exclude a fellow parent ( and his innocent child ) simply because he is a papa when he seems to have turn over no reason for you to mistrust him . As a society , we love to criticize how men do n’t do enough for their children . Meanwhile , you ’re actively trying to keep out a founding father who is puddle an endeavour to socialize his child and build friendships .
I am lamentable you ’re deal with past trauma , but if you do n’t feel comfortable communicating with him , that does not give you the rightfield to attempt to force others to exclude him and his child . Dads deserve an worked up support connection , too . It ’s up to you to step back if that is what ’s unspoilt for you . But you need to swallow the repercussions that will have on your children . "
