" I ’ve always known marriage is exceedingly important to her , but I did n’t realize she ’d insist on a diamond pack . "
Alright, I’m not going to lie. Diamonds can be expensive, but there are affordable options out there. So, if there comes a time in your life when you’re wanting or shopping for a diamond engagement ring, the best thing you can do is discuss a budget with your partner and figure out what works best.
What you absolutely SHOULD NOT do is take this route, shared by RedditorDry-Body-7578, or Dry for short. Here’s thestory:
“I’ve (26, male) been with my girlfriend (26, female) for four years and we’ve recently been talking more and more about marriage. Although my GF grew up relatively well off, for the time I’ve known her, she’s been pretty low maintenance. She’s never cared about designer brands, rarely buys new clothes, and the jewelry she owns was gifted to her. I have a decent job now ($80k a year), and I’ve been saving for a while, but growing up, my family didn’t have a lot of money.”
" My GF and I have always seemed to be on the same page when it get to saving money . I assumed she would be fine with a more low-cost ring . When I started looking into rings , I discovered moissanite rings , which calculate alike to baseball field doughnut but are much more low-priced . I was looking at pack in the $ 1,500–$1,800 range , " Dry explain .
“When I mentioned this to her, she insisted she wanted a real diamond ring and sent me links to a bunch of diamond rings that she liked. The prices ranged from $6,500–$10,000. I told her that I wasn’t willing to spend that much,” he continued.
" She seemed genuinely mad and order it was n’t ' that expensive . ' We got in a pretty big argument over it . I told her that it was idiotic to necessitate me to spend that much and that I thought she was more sensible than that . She said I was being cheap and that I could afford it , and that I was essentially saying she was n’t deserving it . I told her no one is deserving a 10,000 ring . "
“Eventually, my GF said she didn’t care and that I should get whatever ring I want, but she’s clearly still mad, and I know this is going to be an ongoing argument. I’m a bit frustrated because this seems out of left field. I’ve always known marriage is super important to her, but I didn’t realize she’d insist on a diamond ring.”
" So I talked to my older sister about it who , despite tally diamond halo were stupidly price , sided with my GF and said if I could afford it , she did n’t see the bad deal . She added that my GF has done ' so much ' for me , and I was being an asshole about this . "
“What my sister means by my GF ‘doing so much for me’ is that she was really supportive when I was in a serious car accident four years ago. I broke multiple bones and required a few surgeries. Although, where I live, most healthcare is covered, I was unable to work for a while and had expenses I wasn’t able to pay. I had been dating my GF for only six months at the time, and she was really there for me. I couldn’t pay my rent so she let me move in with her for free and helped pay for a few expenses and the physical therapy I needed.”
" She also aid me get a business with her uncle , who was the VP of an insurance company ( It was an accounting entry - level position , and I had a business concern degree , so it ’s not like I was unentitled ) .
Obviously , I ’ve thanked her for all she did for me , but it ’s not something we talk about much . I do n’t think I ’m obligated to corrupt an expensive tintinnabulation because she helped me out a few years ago . But if my own baby state this , I ’m guessing my GF must find the room as well . AITA here ? "
After reading the post, commenters agreed that there wasso muchto unpack, and every conclusion led to Dry being the asshole.
First and perhaps most obvious, it was not a great move for Dry to essentially put a price tag on his girlfriend.
" You ’re the asshole because … You have to understand that from her position , you are enjoin her , ' I know you want this diamond , but I do n’t think you are worth the money and I desire to give you a cheaper alternative to what you require even though I can afford to give you the one thing that you asked for,'“Spinnablsaid . " Especially since you came at the angle that moissanite is a cheaper , standardized jewel . I ’m certain it would be unlike if you had bring it up like … ' I love you recollect diamonds are pretty , but I know you also wish about ethical sourcing and sustainability , why do n’t we look at some alternatives ? ' Instead , you came from a strictly financial standpoint , which very easily get along off as ' you ’re not deserving this much money . ' "
“You’re the asshole,“kokobriiagreed. “Not because you want to spend less on a ring. I believe you guys can find a happy medium somewhere in there if you tried. You’re the asshole because you said she wasn’t worth that amount.”
" You are supposed to love her and you literally give her deserving a monetary time value of less than $ 10,000 . That had to have hurt her dreadfully . I hope you apologise for that . "
By his own acknowledgment, we know Dry’s girlfriend is not a materialistic person. So her desire for a diamond ring shows it’s clearly important to her—likely because it represents their relationship and she hopes to wear it forever—and he should respect that.
" This is a ring she ’s going to be wear 24/7 for therest of her lifetime . That is a Brobdingnagian deal . By your own admission , she ’s not a materialistic person ; this is just the one thing she wants . $ 6000 spread out over the next 60 + days is absolutely a worthy investment for your next married woman , " an anonymous exploiter drop a line . " It ’s not about you owe her for her avail you . She did that because she loves you . This miss never asks for anything ; you should be doing this because you love her . It would be unlike if you directly up could n’t afford it , but intelligibly you could . "
And don’t even get me started on how she saved him a huge sum of money by covering his medical bills, providing free housing, and getting him a job in his career field. She literally invested her time, money, and emotional energy into their relationship, but he won’t get her the one thing she asked for – aka a ring he can afford.
" Her pass over for you after your accident and letting you live with her for gratis was a big deal , specially since you had n’t been together that long . Now , I do n’t think that oblige you to pay for the pack , mostly because I think it ’s just what you do when somebody you care about needs help and you’re able to aid them . However , it does try out that she ’s there for the good and the bad and that she has your back , which is something everyone wants to believe about their spouse , but few get a chance to have it proven to them the direction you did,“wmciner1said .
“You’re the asshole a bit,“lurker7777777lolagreed. “Your thoughts seemed reasonable until you told the part of the story where you lived off her for months, and she covered your expenses. Get the ring she wants and apologize for not seeing it sooner.”
" You say , ' I do n’t suppose I ’m obligated to buy an expensive band because she facilitate me out a few year ago . ' My man , your GF is n’t obligate to marry you,“J0sey_W4les_23added .
