" He said that I was too cautious and needed to open my mind when he had never given me a reason to be unsafe . "
The dynamic between your partner and their “best friend” can get tricky when you’re in a relationship, and thisReddit storyis a perfect example. A user,conscious-Jicama2133, is questioning her recent decision to dump her boyfriend for buying his female best friend lingerie as a “prank.”
Here’s the fullstory: “My boyfriend (male, 28) and I (female, 24) have been together for a year and a half. I love him a lot, and he has been pretty amazing to me. He is also the sort of person who has lots of friends, and his close friends are pretty much family. He also loves to joke and play these harmless pranks on his friends, which sometimes makes me feel weird.”
" Just for context of use : He has two female friends and three manly friend . This is about my bf and one of his friends , Claire ( female , 28 ) . Claire is a prissy woman , and we are well-disposed . My swain also has never ignored me in favour of his supporter or talked over me in front of them . Which is why I do n’t translate if I ’m in the right . "
“They (my boyfriend’s friends) had a recently escalated prank fight. I had made it clear to my bf that I am not good at jokes and am rather stiff, and he said he would keep me out of it.”
" Claire , my swain , and another friend , Kyle ( male , 27 ) , even had a huge throwing H2O - balloon fight in Kyle ’s backyard . Then , my swain got pranked with dyestuff in his body wash . Then Kyle got pranked by Claire , something about trounce cream and oven mitts . "
“But the issue was when my boyfriend brought a red, lacy lingerie set, and he planned to put it in Claire’s room the next time when he went over.”
“I admit, I get a bit weirded out when he calls Claire ‘extremely beautiful’ and jokes about how she was always ‘way out of his league.’ But I thought it was nothing, and they were like family, so I guess it was their thing.”
" However , the intimate apparel prank had me put my foot down , and I say that he was wrong to give another charwoman intimate apparel , no matter who , when he had a girlfriend . "
“We fought, and I said I wanted to break up, which he didn’t want to, and said that I was just overreacting. He said that I was too conservative and needed to open my mind when he had never given me a reason to be insecure. Claire called me and said that she and my bf have been friends for a long time, and inside jokes are just that, and I’ll learn more with age.”
" I still experience weird about this . My best protagonist is supportive of me no matter what I do , but I have started to find like I ’m blowing this out of balance . My boyfriend state that not hiding it from me shows I ’m the trouble . I have start to feel like I ’ve blow this out of proportion , and maybe it ’s my fault I ca n’t take a laugh . I really feel awful about this whole thing . Am I the asshole ? "
A majority of commenters were on the original poster’s (OP)’s side, saying that she, in fact, was NOT overreacting about the situation.
" You are n’t blowing this out of balance . Girl , I ’m in my 40s , and I can tell you right now that would never be an acceptable inside caper or prank . And your bf tell apart you you ’re the problem because he did n’t hide it from you is just plain trying to manipulate / gaslight you . “—Lex - imo
“Your bf is 100% into Claire, girl, and ‘you’ll learn with age’ is an obnoxious thing to say,” userHappy-Cow-2835agreed.
" Your boundaries were disrespected , and I ’m glad you know your worth and left . "
This person shared a similar experience with their ex-fiancé.
" My ex - fiancé was talented intimate apparel on friendship twenty-four hour period by her male near protagonist . I was extremely uncomfortable . We after broke up due to the fact it turns out he escalate it to sex at some stop later . As a man , no world buys a womanhood ’s underwear unless he wants to see her in it . You do n’t buy sexy lingerie as a jape gift . The ' trick war ' is just an excuse that gives him deniability because he is a coward . It go to me like you struck too close-fitting to the truth for his comfort , and he is appal his gross deniability program did n’t work . “—missing1776
“I personally wouldn’t necessarily see the lingerie as a problem alone,” userTall-Negotiation6623wrote.
So, after the original poster’s boyfriend saw her post on Reddit, he reached out to her and DOUBLED DOWN. Here’s theupdate:
“To the actual update, my bf and I broke up. I’m sorry, guys, but even after seeing so many replies on how he was cheating, I refused to believe it. I’m still in love with this guy. And he called me, like half a day after I wrote this post, and asked to meet. I met him, and he said he understood where I was coming from, but I was always too uptight to understand that friendship is friendship.”
" He and Claire had recognize each other for years before I come into the word picture , and I can not anticipate him to just bankrupt their dynamic . I asked him what sort of ' dynamic ' was cherry-red intimate apparel . Why could n’t it be literally any other type of clothing ? He told me he ’d had it with my insecurity and that he and Claire blab , and plainly , I was making them sound like deceiver and homewreckers . He think it ’d be ripe if I found someone like me who recall the idea of a fun dark was dust food and a movie indoors . "
“That hurt a lot. He had always known I had insecurities about being called boring. He always complimented me on how his weaknesses were my strengths. Now he says things like this to me?”
“Claire didn’t call or text after the breakup either, but Kyle did, and said that he was sad we broke up and hoped I would be okay in the future. I asked him if my bf ever cheated on me. He said my bf had only been a ‘one woman man’ when he was dating me. But he could understand that some women can’t handle female best friends, especially if they look like Claire. I told him to fuck off and blocked him.”
" It matt-up like he only require to crow and hurt me because my bf leave . I palpate like I never knew these people . Claire and Kyle were always at least decent to me , if not dainty . Did it make me a complimentary target now that my bf has been tell apart his friends I ’m an unsafe child ? "
“I don’t know what to do now. I have been told repeatedly by both my friends and sister that I dodged a bullet. But I have been breaking down like a kid again and again. I’m even thinking of going to therapy after feeling the most insecure I’ve felt my whole life.”
