" * at my surprisal party * ' soo you guys like have a groupchat without me ? ? ' " — @soupinthering
Welcome back, y’all. I’m back with another week of funny tweets in tow to wrap up May (yes, it’s almost June…).
you ’re recount me june starts next week?pic.twitter.com / umrswBJ0Le
So, before we jump into the long, hot summer days (though most of us already have) and mosquito-bitten legs (also already accomplished), let’s review all the funny moments this second to last week of May offered us:
1.
dogs : https://t.co / oJEde890GS
2.
reckon Allium cepa for the first clock time : https://t.co / ja4dTcreB7
3.
tiktok be like “ someone you may know ” and it ’s someone i ’ve consecrate to destroy in this lifetime
4.
whoever made this wanted him so badhttps://t.co/1DUKM9J8fm
5.
One time at a company this young woman and I realized we were bear the exact same jeans , but mine were a picayune too big for me and hers were a fiddling too small for her . So we plump to the bathroom and traded . Both fit perfectly . Very professional , we did n’t speak the sleep of the night
6.
you ’re not a real body of water imbiber unless you ’re also uncoerced to be a real pisser
7.
The person who reported me to the HOA just accidentally out herself in our FB mathematical group , so if anyone needs me I ’ll be busy spending the day cause certain she ’s sorrow that
8.
i detest my fuckass brain . every metre i see this sign on a plane my quick pulsing is to rede it as “ sowwy no stowage 🥺 ” pic.twitter.com/D8hNijzk5D
9.
I break to the Apple Store to buy new earpiece n realized I forgot my recognition calling card in my other purse and I ask the salesclerk if they took Apple Pay n he look at me and said what do u think
10.
Just walk to the market computer storage at 10 PM and saw a dissatisfied beginner walk out with his teen girl , who was holding a tri - fold poster plug-in and front annoyed . Pray for this household .
11.
5 feep deetpic.twitter.com/RoH85DJtX7
12.
Not y’ all consume deep-fried plagiariser mapshttps://t.co/SpWC9wPvAU
13.
2 hours of cooking just to eat in 10 minutes and now I ’ve got ta wash everythingpic.twitter.com/qjvrrp9SkH
14.
Been looking for my rose for weeks…pic.twitter.com/ZGLiQ5wEMC
15.
omg when the IT guy has remote access to your computing machine it ’s soooo freaky like stoppp bae
16.
Everytime I spend $ 20 I believe this is okay because I wo n’t do it again . And then would u believe
17.
Plants are like “ I ’ll have a light tiffin . ”
18.
Me eating : My clean shirt : let me taste it.pic.twitter.com/CfwAznNpV8
19.
Ok I ’m not being rummy but which one am I ? ? ? ? ? I need to piss immediatelypic.twitter.com/DYIJbUJYCk
20.
took my 6 yr sure-enough to the bathroomat a friend ’s yesterday & she look around & said “ wow … .. this bathroom is so pretty & shining ” & then she pass over & was like “ momma you HAVE to try this toilet paper ; it ’s so thick and soft ! ! ! ! ! ” and long narration brusque my kid just discover wealth 😭
21.
My nephew had an upset abdomen for a few days . Once he felt better , he said that when he raise up he would cook up a medicine that would make diarrhea instantaneously go and he ’d call it go - a - rhea and we grownups were like nahhh pal that name is sort of already ingest .
22.
roommate broke up with his girlfriend that cooked for uspic.twitter.com/yVBX18lYGG
23.
this is nt normal right ? my roomate swears everyones chair does this finally but i think his asshole has teethpic.twitter.com/ynNHvl4xm7
24.
- at my surprisal party * “ soo you guys like have a groupchat without me ? ? "
25.
My mom texting me that hoi polloi wish me happy birthday on facebook and that I should “ put out a brief statement thanking them ” like she ’s my atomic number 59 reppic.twitter.com/uB1HypwgR6
26.
me letting everyone know that the four seasons orlando child is a girlpic.twitter.com/LVPg01hqeN
That’s all for this week, but there are plenty more laughs in our recent roundups (and as always, don’t forget to shoot these creators a follow if they made ya laugh!):
35 Straight - Up Hilarious Tweets From The hebdomad Because You merit A Little Treat
There Are Many thing haywire With The World , But These 32 Funny Tweets From Last Week Are Not One Of ' Em
