" I realize that I would have been a terrible , wretched husband and father , and belike divorced by now . "
In a Reddit post shared tor/AskReddita couple of years ago, site useru/Isittheweekendasked, “Those who are 40+ and child-free, how is your life?” Here are some of the most-upvoted responses:
1.“43-year-old male here. My marriage recently dissolved. I teach students with special needs… my whole career women have told me what a great father I’ll make. My wife and I bought our dream home and were about to start trying for a child when I found out she was having an affair. I left her. Now I’m starting over and sort of giving up on the family/suburb dream. It’s freeing in so many ways.”
u / Herbertlicious
2.“I love my life. I wouldn’t trade it with anyone. I’m 70 with no children, never married, and have no regrets. I’ve had several long-term relationships (11 years and 17 years… we’re still friends). I loved never relinquishing my personal freedom.”
" Several thing inform my decision :
1 ) Watching the relationship of parents and children , where tyke became * ssholes .
2 ) learn marriages that were okay go forged or ho-hum after kids .
3 ) Watching people lose themselves in nerve-wracking married couple .
4 ) Not enjoying the feeling of having to negotiate everything from social events to meal choices . "
u / Kwelikinz
3.“I love it. Retired without kids is the sh*t. I can’t even imagine having children. I’m not built for it.”
" I ’m great with other people ’s kids ( in little bursts ) but at last very glad to be able to walk away from that cacophony of want .
I sleep as much as I want ( as well as game , work , etc . ) , exhaust whatever I want , and go where I want ( or more importantly , do n’t go where I do n’t need ) .
It ’s one of the few determination I made very young ( before I was a adolescent for trusted ) that I ’ve not wavered on and has make up off dividends . ' "
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4.“I am 38 and my wife is 42. Our marriage is fantastic and our jobs are stressful but lucrative. We worry and stress about normal things just like other people — just not about kids, obviously.”
" Like any major life decision , there are sting of rue , like seeing my friends enjoy chunk game and major milestones with their children that I be intimate I wo n’t experience with my own . But I fuck I am also sidestepping the negatives as well .
In the end , my married woman and I chose each other and are endlessly happy . Could a child have meliorate that bliss ? peradventure — but we collectively were not 100 % all - in and did n’t want to risk our happiness together to determine out . "
u / Intersectaquirer
5.“Quiet. Oh so blissfully quiet.”
u / JimmieB68
6.“I’m a 46-year-old auntie to a wonderful little boy and I’m fine with that.”
" My husband and I did n’t each hit six public figure until about four age ago , so we ’re not really swimming in money yet ( we go in NYC ) . I love sleeping in . I love finishing dinner and then play video recording games . I love pass for farseeing walk . I screw peace and quiet . I love all my disposable income . "
u / ntpunt2000
7.“I’m financially in good shape, but my life feels somewhat unfulfilling. But I honestly don’t think children would fix that or a wife… I don’t know. I feel very bad when I hear my coworkers talk about how little time they have for themselves. It is a little bit lonely, but I am very good at keeping myself occupied.”
u / Anyantinoise
" This is pretty much how I feel . Sometimes it ’s super lonely , but I get annoyed having to portion out with others . "
u / SoggieSox
8.“Vacations are a breeze, particularly if you go to another country. If I find a place, I can just up and move without worrying about if the school is any good, or how big the house is.”
u / Gonstackk
9.“It’s kinda lonely sometimes. I do enjoy the freedom it affords, but it’s not like I’m wealthy enough to just do whatever. My house is usually messy because what’s the point? My dog doesn’t care. MyMinecraftworld is coming along pretty nicely.”
Gotis1313
10.“Really good, actually. I move around a lot for work, so it wouldn’t be fair to put a kid in that kind of environment. Meanwhile, my wife and I get to travel all over the world. We’re putting away savings to retire and open a hostel somewhere chill. I can understand people who say kids give their life purpose, but I’m just not wired that way. I think the lack of free time and the huge financial commitment would make me really unhappy.”
u / FriendOfRock
" It ’s a wiring thing for me , too . I just palpate like happy parents can see a color I can not . My lifespan meliorate 4827x over when I found out it was an elective thing , not a give . I ’m grateful for the women who came before me who paved the way for me to experience the lifetime I want , woman were n’t always so historically lucky . "
u / abqkat
11.“It’s pretty good, although my wife and I are childfree due to infertility, not by choice. The upside is that we have more disposable income than we would if we did have kids so it allows us to spend as much (or as little) as we want on our nephews, nieces, and godchildren.”
u / Juan_Calavera
12.“My wife worries about being cared for when we are older. I feel like being a parent makes you grow up a lot. I still feel like a child in a way.”
u / TurpitudeSnuggery
13.“I’ve no regrets about not having kids, but I haven’t benefited from it like others have. I ended up having to take care of my parents, one of them at a relatively early age, and that’s affected my life as much as having children would. I actually made an expensive purchase for me last night, the first time in a long time, and I keep imagining the potential financial backlash of something going wrong for them in the future and me not having that money on hand.”
u / OfficePsycho
14.“I always thought the urge to have children would eventually hit me. ‘Maybe next year, I’ll start trying,’ I always thought. It was never the right time.”
" plough out , the right-hand time never came , because I have no active interest in having child . The only reason I require them was the trouble that I ’d regret it if I did n’t . And here I am , close to 50 , and I do n’t palpate regret at all . I in reality bed being independent . I roll in the hay not having to occupy about someone else . My human is on a business trip And while I really miss him , I realize I really like being on my own , being able to do whatever I want , whenever I require . Contrast that with my confrere with children and their needs and desires always follow second . Absolutely no ruefulness here . "
u / smallonion
15.“I’d love to find a partner who’s solid enough that I want to have kids with them, but a true partner is tough to find and I don’t want to parent alone. The ‘free and single’ lifestyle is boring to me.”
uracil / qbande
16.“Meh. 47F and feeling mortal. My boyfriend is 35 and has zero interest in kids, but if he changes his mind he’s got plenty of time. I honestly think if I’d had children I’d be further along. As it is, every year is basically the same and I lack motivation to change much.”
u / muddlemaster
17.“I can watch anything I like on TV.”
u / the - Home - Captain James Cook
18.“I’m not quite 40, but my wife and I had to give up on having children recently after eight failed rounds of IVF. We were both desperate for children so it’s probably the worst thing that’s ever happened to either of us, TBH. Every time a friend posts a pregnancy notice on Facebook (especially with a caption like ‘We were planning to stop at three but I guess accidents happen!) it feels like another knife being stabbed in us.”
" We do n’t charge our friends for being able to get pregnant naturally or want to fete that with friend and family ( heck , we would if we get pregnant ) . It just all seems so unjust , is all . "
19.“At 40 I was married and child-free. We spent our free time doing whatever we wanted (although one thing to keep in mind is that as you get older, your parents start to get old. There’s an entire other level is issues involved there). But anyway, I can say that at 40 I was happy with no kids and would have been happy to continue my life that way. Now at 43, I have a two-year-old son. He is the light of our lives, and I can’t imagine life without him.”
u / archyprof
20.“Honestly, it has its moments of being really good, and it has its moments of feeling really empty and pointless, I find it helpful to have goals to keep busy and feel like I can still accomplish something I can feel good about.”
u / CaveDweller419
21.“My three beloved nieces give us all the child joy we need, and we’re only responsible for them for brief periods. Everyone I know with kids (the majority of my peers) has had their lives completely changed in almost every way by having children. Nuh uh, not for me. And our savings means we can slow down a bit in the foreseeable future.”
u / crooktimber
22.“I’m a 49-year-old male. For most of my life, I always thought I’d get married and have kids. I felt pressured to do this, and as I got older, I got more depressed that it didn’t happen. Within the last few years, I realised what a bullet I dodged.”
" I ’ve had anxiety and depression problems all my life . I see now what my friends are going through with their kin ( it ’s not all fun and smiles ) . I take in that I would have been a dread , miserable husband and founding father … and plausibly divorced by now . My only rue is that I consider it would be nice to have a Thomas Kid take care of me in my old old age , but that ’s selfish and it ’s not assure anyway . I ’m passably contented with where I am — no debt , gracious career , protagonist , family , and meter usable to take attention of myself . "
u / LidoCalhoun
Shout out tor/AskRedditandu/Isittheweekendfor having this discussion.
mark : Submissions have been delete for length and/or clearness .
