" Do you think I can ask my law school day for a refund because like there is no police force anymore lol " — @straussanator

Welcome y’all…it’s July, but the 4th is behind us, so it’s time to cut the shit.

why am i still hearing fireworks ? ? tf are y all keep ? ? ? unemployment?pic.twitter.com / fyhW8LQOPg

Now that that’s settled… Welcome back! It’s time for the best part of the week, aka the time I share with you all the funniest tweets from the timeline ‘cause this is how I spent my time:

opening and closing Twitter like it ’s a electric refrigerator

Let’s get into ‘em!

1.

what if alternatively of x it was call twitter and or else of posts they were tweets

2.

Do you mean I can ask my legal philosophy school for a repayment because like there is no police anymore lol

3.

It ’s been a trying day and my anxiety is out of restraint . I conceive I ’ll watch an episode of FX ’s hit show The Bear to unbend

4.

What if or else of a nervous system we just had a really chill system

5.

https://t.co/ur6ypd1Ayupic.twitter.com/Uv9XrnMGZR

6.

You peel one piece of skin off ya back talk and the whole lip unzip like wtf

7.

gamey school crushes were gaga because why tf was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him

8.

one meter i cerebrate this happened to me and then the locus sent me an email with my signature on all the receiptshttps://t.co/58R3FoIzat

9.

My mother:“Send pics on your tripper . You never send pics bc you do n’t want me to see your fancy woman snip but I already know you do like one , so still send” … … … … Ok ..

10.

Just try out a “ good-for-nothing this is my first twenty-four hour period ” to a customer ’s question and he was like I figure you here two weeks ago !

11.

whenever you see a celeb pop up with a new hairline : https://t.co / v4wjpkTYrL

12.

my friend is 6'5 " and told me something tickle and disturbing once . he say whenever he aim the train during spate hr , he understand the same few other 6'5 " guys ' heads poking out of the morass of people , like treetops . they have a special 6'5 " guy nod and everything

13.

My mom expect what my office does for faxing since we ’re completely remote , so I had to tell her we ’re really locate in 2024

14.

got my protagonist a job consultation and she did n’t show uppic.twitter.com/nUzkU5OWuD

15.

My child just used the auto fill information on the iPad TO reserve HIS OWN VACATION . Now I get to make speech sound calls explaining that we need to cancel these reservations because the valet who made them is in fact nineJfc

16.

thanks dadpic.twitter.com/6WJtEGaeeV

17.

Paul McCartney ’s original drafthttps://t.co/FfEcMdTsuj

18.

whenever i see the moon it ’s like ok i want six blurry pictures of that on my phone so bad

19.

go to the bathroom at 3 am using a middle school classmate ’s linkedin visibility as a flashlight

20.

I know the paper towels detest to see me come in the kitchen .

21.

I be intimate reach into my mussy bagful look for something and everyone around me hears like deoxyephedrine breaking and bombs going off and a qat meowing from inside there

22.

was trying to get my 2yo to catch a wink on vacation , so i offered her a cheddar cheese hearty to nibble on and order “ let ’s lie down on our camp bed and interpret a Holy Scripture in the nice quiet darkness together . ” since then she has been asking to “ feed cheese in the darkness ”

23.

Dentists will twist to their nursemaid and say‘A24 - fatal traumatic root eruption’and then turn to you like ‘ all healthy 👍 ’

24.

why does the association football goalie wear a different shirt do they not fw him ?

25.

Kamala realizing she may become United States President via the 25th amendmentpic.twitter.com/pkHHV5gmDp

26.

Bryce James , boy of LeBron James , reanimate his founder ’s viral meme post:“Smiling through it all ! Ca n’t believe this my life”pic.twitter.com/Yo5lZjCGgP

27.

interview panel look for you to block off so they can give it to the internal candidatepic.twitter.com/69TveBA0fe

If you’re looking for more laughs, check out our most recent roundups (and don’t forget to shoot these creators a follow!):

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