" if we could ' brainwash ' your Kid , we would get them to bring pencils to class — but since we ca n’t even do that , that ’s distinctly not the case . "
Recently,parentsandteachersshared the modern parenting methods that they think are doing more harm than good. Since then, hundreds more teachers and educational professionals from theBuzzFeed Communityhave come forward to write out their parenting opinions — including both the bad and good.
Since parenting is abit of a hot topicright now, I thought I’d compile more of the opinions teachers shared. Here’s how it will work. First, I’ll share the parenting trend the educational professional disagrees with; then, I’ll share what they agree with instead right below it. Got it? Cool, let’s get into all the opinions below:
1.“The ‘parent principal.’ This parent believes they have seniority and superiority over the teacher. They expect the teacher to meet their every request or demand. Inferentially, the parent subtly threatens the teacher by referring to the school principal by first name, or worse, CC’ing the principal to indicate they are putting the bigwigs in the convo (yes, someone did that to me!). The best way to deal with this overbearing, narcissistic, and demeaning behavior is to take the high road, lead by example, and be a professional… in the softest voice possible. Period! Then CC all appropriate people.”
Here’s what they agree with instead:
" instructor and parents co - sharing student academics and classroom management . Once , I called a parent about their son ’s behavior . They responded fitly to what I said and how I say it and matched me with energy and understanding . When the scholarly person came to the schoolhouse the next day , they immediately apologized , right their behaviour , and they had a good day . I at once emailed the parent and countenance them screw how well the student had responded to the review of ' their demeanor ' not ' them . ' I was so pleased to see a parent respond in a way that showed understanding that the behavior must be even off for learning to take place . ( Now , as to what she did , I do n’t experience . But it act upon . )
Too often , the parent react defensively when a instructor call about their small fry ’s behavior , normally because they are frequently inundated about the tough stuff . It is so important for teacher to call out a child ’s self - chastisement and include an electronic mail about how that child ’s behavior commute so that the parent feels well as well as the child . This builds good rapport and relationships between all concerned . "
2.“Letting the internet raise our kids. So instead of a caring, fun parent or mentor to grow empathy with and hands-on play, we have kids learning violence from movies and video games and lacking basic math, reading, and life skills.”
— Artist / writer and substitute instructor for 25 years , 76
" get at parentage with a smiling , express mirth person to interact and do things with as babe grows . No screen , including telly , until mid - stripling , but books , bodily function like blocks , sandboxes , sewing , theme or a rampart to take out or paint on , preparation , horticulture , etc . , with some or no adult participation or direction , count on the bodily process . "
3.“God, so many [parenting tactics] drive me up a wall. I think the biggest one during the summer is just how willing parents are to drop their kids off at the public library for the full eight hours we’re open to the public. Hell, I’ve seen kids get dropped off before we open and have to wait outside in the heat… in Florida. All because the parent can’t or won’t look into options for childcare. We are a LIBRARY, not a babysitter (I could get paid more to be a nanny/babysitter!! But I don’t want that, lol). Yet people drop their kids off with us and leave them here all day.”
" 90 % of them do n’t have lunch or anything to eat , and they rarely even roll in the hay their parent ’s phone number ( they do n’t always even do it their own last name ) . It ’s one thing if the kid is a bit older , say 14 + , but I ’ve had kids as untried as 7 try out to be deteriorate off to drop the daytime at the library . And it ’s not like the kids are coming in and translate or participating in outcome and programs we have going on . They just spend their whole time on Roblox . Most of them scarcely listen to our rules ; they scream , yell , and run . And when they get their three warning ( and that I will turn the computers off if they keep misbehave ) , they throw full - blown tantrums ! They really do not understand NO and not getting what they need . "
— Children ’s bibliothec for 8 years , 34
" There are very few . frankly , the only thing I agree with is the upgrade in actually explaining to your child why you ’re doing certain matter . I do n’t see this done nearly as much as I ’d like , but once in a while , when I do see it , it ’s novel . I wholeheartedly think in talk to kids , even babies , with normal voice and explaining what and why you ’re doing things to help children work on and gain savvy . "
4.“Unparenting/friending your child. Being a ‘cool parent,’ or the ‘yes parent.’ Showering them with things, saying yes to inappropriate requests with little to no boundaries, believing saying no is a bad thing, attacking anything or anyone who attempts to establish rules or expectations a child deems unfair or too hard just didn’t want to do. It’s creating children who cannot thrive in real-world situations that require hard work, critical thinking, and adaptability. Children are having major emotional regulation problems because parents shelter them from negative experiences and point fingers at others. They don’t learn to be accountable for their actions.”
— pedagog and child care professional for 20 years , 45
" cocksure parentingand the menage function model . It builds strength in mortal and focalize on healthy bound , putting the family whole first , and is a electropositive strength - establish approach path . It ’s not authoritarian or peaceful . Children and families work on build gist value , communicating , respect , integrity , and accountability . "
5.“Teaching your children about real historical events and other people’s cultures and perspectives is NOT us ‘having a political agenda’ or trying to ‘brainwash’ your kids. People and children need to learn how to have an educated conversation and exchange ideas in a respectful way. You are doing your child a disservice by shielding them from everything you deem unworthy or does not fall within the realm of your opinion. Plus, if we could brainwash your kids, we would get them to bring pencils to class—but since we can’t even do that, that’s clearly not the case.”
" I consider paying aid to a nestling ’s societal and worked up well - being is important- especially in this technical school - based society . These kids have to face challenges with the negative wallop of technology that we never had to . I ’m happy that genial health is something that is widely talk about and accepted ( generally ) . "
6.“I have just finished my last year of teaching, although I didn’t plan it that way. As a mother, grandmother, teacher, and nurse, I’ve seen it all. This year, though, I had some of the best and the very worst students ever due to differences in parenting styles. I had students who would look into my eyes and lie, steal from their classmates and me, and cheat without remorse. When I met my students' parents, I could tell exactly why my students were the way they were, for better or worse.
" Thoughtful , responsible parents that teach their children that they are not the plaza of the universe ; that their actions and attitude affect others . Their child learn to be accountable for and accept the consequences of their own choices . They do not expect constant reward for ordinary polite behaviour . kid raised in this way apprise complex body part and limit and can be taken anywhere because they have been taught to be tolerant and civilised and have never formed the use of throw conniption if their requirement are not met in a flash . My grown children have very dissimilar parenting styles , and it testify . We love our grandchildren , but we have a unvoiced metre being around some of them for a very long time because of their parent ' permissiveness and refusal to provide effect for bad doings . "
7.“The ‘do nothing’ parent. No interest, no parenting, no responsibilities, no consequences.”
" parent who are involve , know their child needs guidance , and engage and enter with the educator , not bring against them . This is a team try , but without the regular hand of a parent or shielder , no amount of scheme or teaching conjuration will help . If the parent has contain out , the kid is out , too . "
8.“Honestly, the device usage is the worst part. I worked with 3-year-olds who had their own phones, and they were barely interested in playing or anything else. They didn’t even want to color. It’s just really painful because now, as the director of a GED program, I’m seeing the results of the earliest parts of this trend. Students practically go through withdrawal when we ask them to put their phones down.”
" I do love that we are trying to be more understanding of theemotionsof small ones . Though sometimes I do find out myself with my mom ’s voice in my head telling me that sometimes you get ta just suck it up . "
9.“I firmly disagree with giving rewards to children for doing what they should already be doing. Example: ‘I’ll buy you a video game if you make your bed.’ I hear students say, ‘What do I get if I do my work?’ They don’t like hearing an education! They want a material prize.”
— First and second grade instructor for 30 days , 64
" I concord with lay out a challenging goal , keep its windup , and then setting another intriguing goal . substantial increment happen when you challenge yourself . "
10.“Students are not responsible or accountable for their actions. Parents usually have an excuse ready. This is unhealthy for the child. They will not be ready for the world of work or following the law. Who will defend them when caught cheating in college or when they break a law? It is just so sad because we are not raising children to be functional, contributing members of society.”
— eighth grade English teacher for 24 years , 64
" I appreciate parents who instruct their children to appreciate and honor others . They are not permit to behave as if they are the only child that matters . They are taught compassion and empathy . There are still some good trend out there , but the amount of clock time used in the classroom to deal out with the trouble of students who are not raised with these canonical skill is unjust to those scholarly person who get to school and expect and want to learn . "
11.“Giving kids a phone without monitoring it! You wouldn’t believe the stuff they’re looking at, the stuff they’re saying to each other (and to complete strangers)! Apps from companies such as Bark can help parents sift through it all. Most parents mean well; they just aren’t aware of the scope of the problem because when they were students, the cybersphere was not as all-consuming as it is now.”
" construction experiences as a category ( museum trips , state / national parks , etc . ) "
12.“Lack of disciplinary measures from parents and lack of manners from children as a result. I once had a father say he thought that all his children would learn table manners and washing their hands in kindergarten. All I could think was, ‘They should have learned that already from you before they were old enough to even come to school!!'”
— Principal , 33
" Parents wanting their baby to socialize and be with other minor alfresco of the school setting . "
13.“Parents not partnering with teachers on their child’s education. Education needs to be a three-way street between parents, children, and teachers. Otherwise, it just won’t work.”
" parent who apologize and are willing to admit they made a mistake . If your tike sees that you take responsibility for your own mistakes , they ’ll be more probable to 1 ) take responsibility for their own ; 2 ) recognize that fault are just a normal part of being human ; 3 ) instruct humility ; 4 ) be less afraid of trying new things , since mistakes are seen as ' growth opportunities . ' "
And finally:
14.“A trend I am concerned with is how many parents create content to teach other parents techniques without formal education or training. Parenting and child development content has an impact regardless of who creates the videos or infographics. What I do not see is parents and caregivers evaluating the content itself (i.e., is this a best practice standard or have evidence behind it?) and taking care to understand who is creating it, like a Speech Language Pathologist versus an adult without credentials who is implementing these techniques at home. This is really lacking when filtering your content and who you are following.”
" What content origination supports positively is an reason that parenting is a acquisition and disseminates research that was once unmanageable to get to parent . This is fantastic ! It used to be that you had to schedule a session with a play healer , say a lengthy book by a shaver psychologist , or get your nestling into private rehabilitation service ( for instance SLP , PT , OT ) , and now , those people are create content that can help oneself abide parent while they are on lengthy waitlists for therapy serve or early interposition . "
Note : Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity .
