" You still love and care for her , but you do n’t have to like how she treated you . "
Betrayal in relationships can be extremely difficult to deal with, particularly if it’s a family member…
A man postedthis threadin the “Am I The Asshole” subreddit, asking if he’s in the wrong for rejecting his daughter’s Father’s Day gift as she didn’t tell him his wife was having an affair. Here’s what went down:
BTW : Am I The Asshole is a discussion Sir Frederick Handley Page on Reddit where users involve for advice on whether or not they are the asshole in the place .
“My ex-wife (40F) and I (41M) have been divorced for a year now because she had an affair.”
“She herself confessed to her affair a year later and moved in with her affair partner, who she’s also now married to. I was pretty distraught with the whole thing.”
“We also have a daughter (17F). My daughter knew about the affair but she hid it from me because she didn’t want to break up the family.”
“It really hurt me that she hid it from me for so long but I moved on.”
“My daughter still apologises for it but I’ve told her it’s alright. My daughter today gave me a Father’s Day gift which was a handwritten letter and a gift.”
“However, I was in no mood for gifts so I told her to keep it to herself. My daughter seemed a bit shocked and she went to her room. I think she was crying.”
Phew… People have a lot to say…
A lot of users think that OP (original poster)isthe A-hole:
" I stand for from the modified info you give here in your berth , you voice like the AH . You tell her ' it ’s alright ' . If it ’s not alright then why tf are you telling her it is ? Also , is it your girl ’s job to deliver your married couple ? That ’s a lot of atmospheric pressure to put on your daughter . I ’m not sure you ’re fully cognizant of everything she may have had on the agate line and you ’re still holding it against her ? But yeah , do n’t say it ’s okay if it ’s not okay . "
u / cheetahlakes
" I reckon if she had said something , OP ’s married woman would be blaming her for breaking up the family unit . This was a no profits situation . "
u / Nervous_Explorer_898
" You say you told her it ’s fine . You say you moved on . How do your actions live up to those speech ? At least be good with yourself ( and then her ) . Either move on or do n’t , but do n’t say everything ’s alright and then not accept a gift from your daughter . Plus , maybe factor in she ’s a fry and in a rugged spot between her parents when you make some of these evaluations . "
u / mlk154
" YTA . Your CHILD was place in an unsufferable situation by your married woman . Stop plow her like you ’re equal . You ’re not . You ’re speculate to be the grownup here . "
u / concious_marmot
There are other users who think OP isnotthe A-hole:
" NTA , she beak her side . You still love and care for her , but you do n’t have to care how she treated you . "
u / ClamatoDiver
" NTA . It ’s a huge treason what she did , she kept it secret because of her selfish desire to not be the one to pain you while she could have taken a position and been there for you in an horrifying mo of your lifetime . the great unwashed seem to expect someone who got his living turned upside down to act like nothing happened , and sometimes that is impossible . "
u/19LaMaDaS91
" NTA . I think a lot of people are disregarding your experience and touch sensation . It ’s one thing to say happy Father ’s Day and accept the gratitude . But it ’s perfectly hunky-dory to pause and maybe save the rest for another class . "
u / Everyday_Comet
And some users think that everybody sucks here:
" No parent should depend on their child in that way . What terrible weight , feel like your parent ’s marriage ceremony is in your hand . ESH except for the poor teenager bedevil into the center of her parent ’s marriage . Mum sucks for having an affair rather of break things cleanly and Dad sucks for placing the blame on his daughter instead of the place it belongs : his cheating ex . You owe your daughter an apologia , OP . "
u / L_Avion_Rose
" ESH . You ’re just traumatise her further at this point . Cool down and apologise . I ’m sympathetic though . I ’d have a heavy time forgiving her perfidy , and I ’d never amply trust her again , in all probability . Some therapy for you or both of you would probably be helpful . "
u / generic_inter
" ESH . Daughter is a grown - up and able to process what ’s correct and unseasonable . What she did is clearly wrong . You should still should be good and say you ’re still upset if you are . "
u / PatternMinimum4214
My take? The main person in the wrong is the ex-wife. Yes, I imagine it’s painful to be betrayed by your partner and to then find out another loved one knew all along, but this isn’t the daughter’s fault. It’s an impossible situation to be in, and while OP has every right to feel upset, I think he should be honest with his daughter instead of refusing to communicate his feelings properly.
mention : All submissions have been edit for length and/or clarity .
