Secrets arcanum are no fun …
Reddit userTeen_dream91asked the men of the community, “What are youunable to sharefully, openly, and honestly about yourself with your spouse?”
Men didn’t hold anythinggggg back, and revealed some pretty deep truths they keep locked in the vault.
But do you know who else withholds deep, dark secrets? Women. They have a vault of their own, filled with personal things they rarely share with men.
So, here are some of the biggest truths men and women have kept from each other:
take down : Some submission are from this Redditthreadby useru / iluvfreakyshit1and theBuzzFeed Community .
Note : Some submission include theme of self-destruction . Please continue with caution .
1.“We’ve both been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few months since we’ve both been sick with the flu. It’s some of the best sleep I’ve had since she started snoring super loud many years ago. Once we recover, I don’t know if I want to sleep together again.”
— u / c_c_c__combobreaker
2.“We treat men with kid gloves. We try to keep men happy and fed, we turn down advances in whatever way will make men feel the best about themselves, and we work extremely hard to keep men from turning angry. We fear men’s anger because we know all too well that it can (and often) does end in death for us. So, we end up coddling all men for our own protection.”
— christonacracker
3.“Most of my anxieties and insecurities. I learned long ago that the only thing stopping her from ‘spiraling’ is that she thinks I have a handle on everything. If she panics and I panic with her, she’ll go right past panic into full-on ‘hysteria.'”
— u / Kozeyekan _
" On the uncommon occasion I apportion my feelings , especially something I ’m not felicitous about in our relationship , I instantly regret it . I do n’t know how much is grain in her personality , but she ca n’t manage it .
I ’m a pretty stoical hombre in general , so 99 % of the time , I ’m ok with ' suck it up ' as my scheme for hard knocks . But sometimes , I get a glimpse into someone else ’s family relationship where there is more worked up nakedness , and I realize what I ’m omit .
After decennium , I ’m step down to the fact that it just is what it is . "
— u / Sax - Offender
4.“If I buy a piece of jewelry, new shoes, a new purse, or anything for myself, I fib about the cost. If it’s a $250 purse, I’ll lie and say I ‘splurged’ and spent $100 on the handbag. It’s just easier this way, and he has no clue about the cost of anything I buy for myself.”
— kittitude
5.“How sad our sexual situation makes me. She knows I’m not satisfied with it, but I don’t think she realizes how much it depresses me. I’m reluctant to tell her because I don’t see any good outcome from doing so. There seems to be no point in saying that I keep coming to bed hopeful night after night, only to feel miserable when she turns off the light and says, ‘Goodnight’ and drifts off to sleep. We had a talk about it 10 years ago, and the upshot was that she had no interest in having sex more often than we were. Our frequency has dropped more since then.”
" I ’ve accept that that ’s how it is because I do n’t desire to blackjack her to have sex when she does n’t desire to . Nothing good could result from that . So , I never initiate ( and talk about it would be one more form of unwished-for pressure ) . I continue not to share my tone with her . "
— u / MyNSFWside
" I left my wedding because of this . Lack of intimacy brings about so much emotional damage . You do n’t sense have it away , and you envision yourself with other people because of it . I ’m presently with my newfangled girl and her libido is sky - highschool compared to mine . We just had a son , so it ’s slowed down a bit , but I ’m not sound off . "
— uracil / ThatChillGuy_18
6.“I’ve never once had a man make me orgasm better than I’ve made myself.”
— 10cali90
7.“Women have more hair than you might think, and we hide it pretty well. I’m talking about the stray hairs on our chin, nipples, and butt 😅.”
— isaura844
8.“I can’t tell her how I feel about everything that involves her parents because, in her eyes, her parents feel more like family to her than me. I also can’t tell her how much of a hypocrite she is. I confronted her a few times with the approach that we could solve our problems, but she turned it around and used it against me. Our son is six months old — I don’t want him to grow up without a father.”
— atomic number 92 / lanneretwing
9.“When I was married, I had suicidal ideations frequently. When I was in the bathroom for more than 10 minutes, I was crying my eyes out, trying to hold myself together. Crying in front of her got me an earful of grief about not being ‘a real man.’ So, I did my crying in the bathroom.”
" Also , when I was a ride out - at - home dad , we had a two - twelvemonth - old and a newborn infant . I was struggling with keep up with housework and cooking and all that . She did n’t understand why it was so difficult .
One day she told me ' If I had hired you for this job , I would have enkindle you by now . ' A couple of years by and by , when the Kid were older , we shift and she stayed home . She eventually apologized for what she say to me . I allege it was hunky-dory , but I never forgave her for that . "
— u / Prior_Accident_713
10.“How much I compare their actions to my father’s. If I see something too similar, it raises a red flag for me. I can feel myself emotionally withdraw from a man when something they do or say reminds me of the way my dad used to make me feel growing up. I’m married to a great man who is the opposite of my dad. I’m grateful every day that our future children won’t have to feel as small as I did growing up.”
— u / KatilynKat
11.“My wife tells me things she’s unhappy about with me and expects me to take it and work on improving. But the second I mention something about things I’d like her to work on, it’s flipped around to make her the ‘victim’ and I’m the one who’s really at fault. I stopped communicating that way to her, and then she’s upset about that. I can’t fucking win.”
— u / DernTuckingFypos
12.“While I love my spouse deeply, I struggle to share my childhood traumas. The memories are painful and sometimes I feel like shielding her from that darkness.”
— uranium / Slight_Policy3133
" Every once in a patrician moonlight I ’ll share something with my partner because the topic by nature comes up , and there ’s a look of horror on their human face when I was but sharing an experience . I bury that what I ’ve become numb to is n’t always relatable to a lot of hoi polloi . "
— u / Gemmedacookie
13.“My child (18 months) is legitimately well-behaved, compliant, and enjoyable to be around when she’s not in the home and it’s just me and him. But when she’s around, he’s combative, whiney, rude, and a little terror.”
— u / d00deitstyler
14.“That sometimes I can be jealous of a platonic relationship. It occurs more with male friends than with female friends. It’s not the hugest issue in the world, but it’s not something I want to admit to him either openly.”
— uracil / young_s_modulus
15.“Sometimes the things she says to me in arguments break my heart.”
— u / justVinnyZee
" I use , ' When you said X , I heard Y. ' For example : ' When you said I do n’t finger like having chicken again tonight , I see I ’m nauseous of your cooking , and ' Why ca n’t you make near meals ? ' Then you have the opportunity ( or she does ) to say , “ Oh , hun , that is n’t what I meant at all … '
If you could both be honest and habituate this , you will terminate up induce conversations that really aid you understand each other ’s land of head at the moment , BEFORE it escalates to sound out things that ca n’t be unheard . "
— u / life-time - Coach_421
16.“I’m scared of not being able to provide a half-decent life for her and my kids. Life’s getting so expensive and challenging.”
— u / arent_they_all
" I definitely feel you , brother . I ’m scared to even get conjoin because I do n’t want to go into debt , just endeavor to put solid food on the board . I ’m only 22 , and even I can see important change from pompousness . "
— u / Funkeysismychildhood
17.“I don’t put effort into my appearance to attract attention from men (‘male attention is abundant and low-value’). I do it because it feels like putting on armor, another layer of protection against being vulnerable. There’s also a sense of being intimidating and ‘above reproach’ that feels safe — like, you can try to critique me, but not my appearance.”
" It really just reflects how messed - up social dynamics can be ( and shoutout to the puerility injury of habitual bullying 💕 ) . "
— nicolettexiv
18.“She’s always in the way. If she’s in the kitchen when I’m cooking, she’s always standing in front of the next place I need to be. If I’m working outside, she’s always in the next place I’m going to go. If I’m fixing something, she’s always standing right in front of whatever I’m going to be working on next. If I’m trying to leave a room, she’s always in the doorway. I realize she wants to spend time with me, but I really wish she’d just get out of the way when I’m doing something.”
— u / Lonecoon
19.“No matter how much he tells me he loves me, I’m beautiful, I’m the best thing since bacon, he’s not going anywhere, and he buys me flowers and chocolate, I am absolutely terrified of losing him. Because at some point, he’ll get sick of me, or he’ll meet someone prettier, more clever, or more into the same things he is. I know it will happen eventually, and I know I will completely fall apart when it happens. But until then, he’s not going to know. I’m just enjoying it while it lasts.”
— u/[deleted ]
20.“Literally anything that isn’t within the realm of her personal interests. Otherwise, she clarifies that she’s not interested in what interests me. Sometimes I do talk about my interests because I can’t keep everything to myself forever, but it feels like a child bothering their parents talking about how cool their toys are.”
— u / ChefBillyGoat
" I feel this . Her oculus just get to glaze over , and I can see she ’s mentally checking out . I terminate the conversation and go do a chore or something . She does n’t take questions or find oneself talent that align with my interest . However , and I ’m in all probability a little sulfurous , I ’m expect to be engaged with her interests and ante up attention to the little things , or else she will not palpate like I ’m bonding with her . It ’s a little maddening . "
— atomic number 92 / IsaacB1
21.“Deep down, I really just want to be lazy. I don’t want to go to work, cook, change the bedding every week, or find part-time income streams. In my heart, I just want to lounge about, get a bit drunk, and read books or watch YouTube videos. I do as much as possible so that she’s comfortable and happy, but I don’t want to admit that I don’t really WANT to do anything useful.”
— u / LeutzschAKS
" I feel this one . What is unseasonable with me that I largely only feel any gratification when I ’m doing things that are wholly unproductive , and everything else experience like an infliction ? I wish I could get even a modicum of gratification from completing a labor around the house , run an errand , or clean . I ’m only well-chosen when I ’m sitting on my tush . "
— u / jordanmc3
22.“We generally are not impressed by your ham-fisted attempt to play the bass guitar. Maybe a song or two, but we didn’t sign up for an exclusive, five-hour solo bass concert featuring Dave from Tinder. Take the non-specific compliment and put the guitar down.”
— retrocrebbon
23.“The fact that she won’t let me put any of my ‘hobby toys’ (mostly miniatures and random knickknacks) in our shared spaces without it being in an ‘approved’ location. Meanwhile, the entire house is her canvas for heraesthetic. It makes me feel really lonely and small sometimes, and she doesn’t care. It’s been a topic of conversation — she just doesn’t get that delegating me a tiny shelf isn’t the same as letting me actually decorate some.”
— u / Kimblethedwarf
24.“How much I don’t want them talking to me when I don’t know them. I’ve already seen numerous times that they can’t handle it because they feel entitled to attention from women. I’m talking about when I’m out in nature taking photos, and they think I should answer their questions about what I’m taking photos of and their long, dumb stories of crap they see in their backyard. Or when I’m sitting reading in a cafe, eating alone, or even when I’m grocery shopping. I actually don’t want to talk to you, and I don’t want you to come up to me to ask random questions. Most other women don’t either, believe me.”
25.“That she almost ended the relationship. It took years for me to forgive her when she said, ‘You’re not a parent, so you don’t know.’ I spent years raising her children as my own.”
— u / YYC - Fiend
26.“When she wants to go out with her girlfriends or away overnight with some friends, she thinks I’m upset I’m not included. In reality, I’m praising the lord for a day or two alone.”
— u / Bobo_Baggins03x
" I look forward to the once - a - month , ' I want to go attend out with my protagonist Sarah ' ' Awww shucks , I guess I ’ll go act cards ' conversation .
I ’d go toy cards once a calendar week if I could ! "
— u / Defiant - Telephone-96
27.“At least for me, the period-related mood swings are less about irrationally disproportionate emotional responses and more about a weakening of the filter that usually holds back an emotional response. The things that piss me off when I’m on my period still piss me off when I’m not on my period — I just normally try not to express them.”
— rnd13001
28.“When she says she feels like I’m not listening, it’s because I’m not. I told her how to solve a certain problem in five minutes with no downsides last week, and I’ve heard about it enough times that I don’t have to listen. I know the next six sentences she’s going to say word for word right down to the hand gestures and facial expression.”
" I ’m very abundantly cognisant that sometimes she just want to be hear . What I ’m saying is how many time do I have to take heed the exact same thing that could easily be solved in five moment before I ’m reserve to evoke something if it bothers her so much ? "
— uracil / Squirrel009
29.And finally, “Sometimes I suggest watching porn while we have sex because I feel bad that they have to have sex with me. This way, they can pretend they’re having sex with someone else.”
— u / Oktapooose
observe : Some compliance have been edited for length and/or uncloudedness .
