" Trying to reckon out what to corrupt to fix my entire life . Is it … a new rug?"—@clhubes
Another week has come and gone in the year 2024, and at this point, I’d really love one of these:
It ’d be prissy to have the opposite of an intrusive thought once in a while . Just a really sudden calming mentation
Guess I’ll just have to settle for the funniest tweets by women this week!
Do n’t forget to watch these funny ladies on Twitter ! ! !
1.
Just typed the give-and-take “ we ’d ’ve . ” Real contraction heads wo n’t be fazed by that type of deep cold shoulder
2.
What wine pair undecomposed with finding out my in - law are stay two days longer than plan
3.
I roll in the hay strain into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hear like spyglass breaking and bomb go off and a cat meow from deep down there
4.
as a andiron , I ca n’t imagine something more embarrassing than your ear being inside out . just HUMILIATING
5.
This shucks should be illegal , grow uppic.twitter.com/xOTD2ijFYQ
6.
what a camera fails to capture is the fact that i ’m very good looking . you would not live this from a picture . please only front at me via one specific mirror i have in my elbow room please just believe me
7.
stop a lovely haunt with champion and immediatelly getting reach with Yapper ’s Remorse
8.
Apologies to our waitress Amy who said to my dad , “ wanna box for the remnant ? ” and he replied , “ no , but I ’ll worm you for them ” promise we topple enough
9.
gilmore girls is so funny bc how did they have time to spend an hr getting quick in the morning , walk to lukes as slow as potential , eat a full breakfast whilst conversing , lollygag a chip more , dilly dally just a little longer , and still make it to school / work on clip 😭
10.
being too distressed is n’t good for the baby.i’m not pregnant though , its just that i ’m the baby .
11.
Trying to calculate out what to buy to fix my entire life . Is it … a new rug ?
12.
me looking at my bf while he rants about how HOAs are a terror to the clime bc they forbid ppl from growing food and local leaf bc they ram everyone to grow non aboriginal Gunter Wilhelm Grass and trees that do n’t produce fruitpic.twitter.com/W4f67CiCWR
13.
So cute how guys take a sec before testify u a youtube television to say “ It ’s funny I call just view . ” It ’s like a little tiddler telling me they know a rly cool fast one before doing a flyspeck running jump like aw I do n’t see it but I ’m glad ur having fun ! !
14.
as a child , it always chafe me that they call lion male monarch of the hobo camp when their home ground is the savannah . yes i was pestering
15.
what if instead of x it was called chirrup and or else of posts they were tweets
16.
why are men so ego witting about their height like there are many more important flaws to be ego conscious about for exemplar the lack of emotional intelligence
17.
how can i be expected to touch pasture when it is over a hundred degrees alfresco
18.
“ Oh my god ” is my favourite expression , because if you remove any of the 3 words , it has the same accurate meaning , just in a very unlike tone
19.
“ f*ck you ’re so besotted ” thanks i ’ve never relaxed a day in my living
20.
swell should lighten up about their girlfriend borrowing their dress . oh no the most beautiful charwoman you ’ve ever seen in your life is retain your sweatshirt surety . unthankful
21.
owala water bottles are so much chicer than a stanley cup . an owala tells me you have a liberal nontextual matter academic degree . that you drink oat milk in your coffee tree on juncture . that you have marxist tendencies . that you know what flaxen liang is
22.
my mamma did n’t raise a quitter , she raised someone so afraid of failure that they do n’t even set out something
23.
Your word is wrong . You only get five more effort , the work computer monish like I ’m not willing to go home powerful now .
24.
I wish I liked solve a tail as much as the 80 - class - old in politics
Don’t miss the funniest tweets by women last week:
Just 28 Of The Absolute Funniest Tweets By Women This workweek
