" I wonder if shampoo and conditioner are friends irl or if it ’s strictly professional " — @benedictsred
Welcome back to another week of funny tweets! ICYMI, last week,Twitter made likes private, and it was a devastating day for anyone who has ever had a crush and those who like to be mysteriously perceived:
the like are now privatepic.twitter.com/Xt7ziR5u4D
While Elon may continue to disappoint loyal Twitter users, he will never be able to take away their humor. Here are all the best tweets from last week:
1.
get our large cubicle readyhttps://t.co/AjlIp6WJIt
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long pressing ur major power button to strength shut down a laptop feels like choking someone with a pillow to decease
4.
The crunch of a caesar salad could heal a nation
5.
🚨 they gentrified Cookie Crisp 🚨 pic.twitter.com/YDKCcVEq1s
6.
The nurse say she postulate some piddle to test for potassium . " K , " I said . Silence . " I bet everyone makes that joke , " I say . She ’s like " In 15 years of nursing not one soul has made that jest "
7.
say my fiancée that I cook when I ’m accent . Tell me why this ma’am look me in the middle and call off me a pressure sensation cooker 🥲
8.
sociopath deportment : went to a party last night and as it started wind down , a dude guilt feelings - activate a bunch of us into playing a “ light , straightaway game ” of Settlers of Catan
9.
They present 70 box of snack and water for our summer curriculum . I unloaded 3 script trucks in like 15 min . The pitch bozo gon na say “ I was gon na call for for your number but you too substantial and independent I ’d rather just tell you we ’re hiring ” 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭
10.
i buy a Modern car battery and it was like $ 220 and the female child at automobile zone said “ wanna see how much it would cost if you needed 99 of them ? ” and i said “ okay ” so she type 99 in the quantity and the price went to $ 23000 and she said “ that s how much it would cost ” and i said “ okay ”
11.
When a goose gets their first carpic.twitter.com/LCD9ISXT4y
12.
My bf just post me this exposure of a dog sitting in first class on Air Francepic.twitter.com/dLMaq8QFP3
13.
I make love gear because I get to engage in one of my favorite hobby : looking . God I do it to face
14.
ENOUGH 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 pic.twitter.com/KFTdVQ39yz
15.
Holy fucking shit , Danny absolutely detest being in this wedding . Already at the parsimoniousness storepic.twitter.com/4oPWtGz098
16.
I just remember this tweet and I ’m cry laughinghttps://t.co/ovqoR9T1HG
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being sick in the summer feels like you ’re the little boy with scarlet fever from the velveteen rabbit . my friends are at the beach and i ’ve got my hand on the window pane . tomorrow i may incinerate all my possessions in a stone pit
19.
I wonder if shampoo and conditioner are friends irl or if it ’s strictly professional
20.
So funny that leg hair just like closure … okay lolpic.twitter.com/W8EeZDLriZ
21.
Fcking obsessedddd with not plugging my earpiece in when I go to seam like … I ’ll charge it sometime tomorrow ♥ ️ ♥ ️
22.
I had to spin the closure . Look at this King.https://t.co/n7WuP7XbBPpic.twitter.com/DRh1jTr62J
23.
I ’ve derive in possession of the best sportfishing lid in the worldpic.twitter.com/s5hL2kcukx
For more funny tweets, check out our recent roundups (and don’t forget to shoot these creators a follow if they made you laugh!):
33 Hilarious Tweets From The Week Because Life Is intend To Be laugh At
23 Funny Tweets From The Week Because If We ’re Living In A Simulation , We Might As Well Enjoy It
