Sometimes , harmless closed book are just for peace of mind .
If you’ve ever been in a relationship, then you know you sometimes have to keep secrets from your partner. These secrets aren’t necessarily for nefarious purposes but because they’re really silly, harmless, or you’re trying to protect them from something.
Recently, Reddit usercosplayoffpinkwanted to know about the things people keep from their significant others when theyasked: “What’s a secret that you’re never going to tell your partner?”
1.“When she was bathing the kids one night in winter, I decided to install the surround sound speakers on the skinny table behind the couch. I slid out the sofa and the table to get access to the powerstrip (two lamps and a phone charger already back there) for the subwoofer and saw a rolled-up black shirt on the floor next to it. Upon closer inspection, I saw it was a black snake rolled up in a ball, getting some warmth from the powerstrip. She’s TERRIFIED of snakes.”
" I run out to the garage , grabbed a bucket and palpebra , picked up Mr. Sleepy , and put him ( or her , I did n’t have prison term to ask ) in the bucket and quickly out into the service department . The next daytime was an unusually warm wintertime day so I let it go in the field across the street . I ’m guess it got in from around one of the HVAC kicking nearby on the floor .
If I brought it up then I would have had to move in the centre of that dark . If I bring in it up now , I ’ll have to move tonight . perchance one mean solar day , but I do n’t see us leaving here any time presently , so that secret will die with me . "
— cosplayoffpink
2.“When I go get bread. I buy a pastry and eat it before I get home.”
— xto_faire
3.“I’ll never tell my girlfriend that I once accidentally broke her favorite mug and spent hours scouring the internet to find an identical replacement. She still thinks it’s the same one, just magically un-chipped!”
— AdaptFam
4.“She snores like a pack of bears having a combat orgy on the back of a semi-truck that’s downshifting too soon. Also, she doesn’t have sleep apnea. We checked. The secret I won’t tell her is that…that shit is my white noise now. She started working an overnight shift as a nurse, and I can’t sleep at night without her absolutely symphonic snoring.”
— KhaosElement
5.“She loves to tell everyone I’m scared of spiders, and I play the game. The truth is spiders don’t bother me at all, but I told her that so that she deals with them.”
— Jonbazookaboz
6.“When we lived in our apartment, my wife worked nights. She always left candy out for kids on Halloween, but all the kids in our complex would go to neighborhoods nearby to trick-or-treat. So, I would always take a good bit of the candy and hide it away to take to work. She’d always be happy that kids came by to get the candy she left out.”
— ZGBurk
7.“I really can’t stand her favorite band. I go along to concerts and listen to their music because that makes her happy, but it’s just not my thing. I keep it to myself because I know how much it means to her, and it’s a small thing in the grand scheme of our relationship.”
— houstondm1
8.“When we were first married, an ex-girlfriend of my husband sent him a birthday card. I threw it away, and I have never told anyone about it.”
— Unique - Ad-9316
9.“When I go get pizza from her favorite pizza place, I always pick it up because I always wait for the pizza with a beer from the restaurant bar.”
— LionAndLittleGlass
10.“I cover for the dog way too much. The dog jumped in the garden bed and dug up her seedlings. I said squirrels did it.”
— Rollthembones1989
11.“That I secretly love it when she calls me pookie, even though I act like I don’t. TBF, initially I hated it, but my feelings switched after maybe three weeks of her calling me that. Now it warms my heart a bit every time she says it.”
— KarelianOak
12.“When I wash the clothes, I use less soap than she does. She claims it makes the clothes smelly, but she still hasn’t noticed the difference when wearing them.”
— Rhye88
13.“I sneak in some cheeseburgers when I run errands.”
— Tricky_Discipline937
14.“My husband bought a new lawnmower and weed-whacking thing he was quite proud of. They were electric with interchangeable batteries, easy to use, and lightweight. As far as he was concerned, they were perfect for him. One day, the weed whacker stopped working, and he fought (and won!) a long and difficult battle to get it replaced under warranty.”
" I will never tell him that the cause it stopped working was that I accidentally left it out in the rain . I was trying to get the kids ' bikes out of the shed , and I moved the weed whopper out of the room and forgot to put it back . I will take this to my grave . "
— YourLadyship
15.“I sometimes let her win in chess. I’m not a great player, but I’m way more experienced than she is. I actually taught her chess. She’s just so damn adorable and proud when she wins, so I sometimes leave my king unchecked but not in a too obvious way, so sometimes she doesn’t notice.”
" But when she does , I dig up my Academy Award - winning carrying into action of a shocked chess game loser and savour the joy on her expression when she get ahead . "
— Socket_forker
16.“I bought my own engagement ring. My amazing wife (I love her so much) got what she thought was a 14k white gold and diamond ring. She proposed and I cried happy tears. Shortly after, the stones were falling out. I have a friend in the industry. It turns out the whole ring is fake and basically crumpled the moment any heat was put to it.”
" My wife would feel so awing and credibly tell herself mean things . So I had them make a custom mold of a extra in white gold and rhomb and paid for it myself . That was almost 10 years ago and I ’ll take that to my grave . "
— chubbybunnybean
17.“I take one or two secret days off a year. Wake up like normal and do my morning routine like I’m going to work, then once she leaves, I do whatever I want (usually a day of smoking, afternoon beers, and games).”
— Salty - Ad-2099
18.“Before my husband’s grandmother passed away, she gave us her ruby engagement ring to give to our daughter, as they were both born in July. When my daughter’s partner asked us if he could marry our daughter, we told him we had the grandmother’s ruby engagement ring he could use to propose with. So, I went to get it sized and appraised for insurance so I could give it to her partner. Turns out it’s a garnet. Worthless.”
" So , my husband ’s grandfather lie ( omitted ? ) about his gran ’s engagement band in 1940 , and we are overhaul this folk heirloom on to our daughter . No one but me knows the truth . I ’ll go to my tomb with that one . It looks like a crimson , so by god it ’s a damn ruby .
PS : We always importune we be need for permission , state tradition . But really , it was so we could save them from go into debt on a mob . "
— jjillf
19.“My wife was doing a hardcore training/diet program for six months. All she could eat was essentially green veggies, sweet potato, and bland chicken breasts. To keep her motivated, I promised I would do the diet portion with her for six months.”
" What she does n’t cognize is that many time I said I was going to the gymnasium , I was really just rust Chick - fil - A or In - N - Out in the parking slew . I ’d also have a stockpile of video of me in the gym to send her , so she think I was ' act upon on them addition . ' To this day , she has no estimate I was stuffing my face for this six - calendar month period . "
— SRodrig237
20.“I did not enjoy their cooking at all. I ate for survival. They can burn water.”
— Sodomy_Steve
21.“I’ll never tell my partner that I accidentally deleted her favorite TV show recordings from the DVR and blamed it on a mysterious ‘glitch.’ She still thinks our DVR has a mind of its own!”
— perfecttobe
22.And lastly, “Whenever she’s not home, I let the dog onto the bed and take a really comfy nap. I set an alarm for an hour, kick the dog off, and clean the fur off before she ever gets home. I’ve been doing this for nearly three years now.”
— Nova12bg
You can read the original thread onReddit.
mark : Some responses have been edited for distance and/or lucidity .
