" I do n’t handle how much I loved him ; what he say broke me . "
Notee : the below story discusses emotional and strong-arm abuse .
Even though we wish we could be with our partners forever, sometimes they say something so toxic that we immediately break up right then and there, especially if their behavior and choices have already been impacting us on an abusive level, as one in four women and one in nine men have experienced some form of abuse in an intimate relationship, according to theNational Coalition Against Domestic Violence. So when Reddit useru/Asleep-Lavishness332asked: “What did a significant other say to you that made you immediately leave the relationship?” close to ten thousand people provided their stories. Here’s what some of them had to say below:
1.“‘You need to choose who’s more important — me or your kids.’ It was the easiest decision ever; he seemed genuinely shocked that I chose my children."
2.“She hit me once, and I let it slide, thinking it was way out of character. I told myself if she did anything like this again, I would drop it all and leave. My 8-year-old at the time was sitting on his bed crying (this is rare). I calmed him down, and we walked downstairs to go for a walk around the neighborhood. As I was walking down the stairs, she said, ‘You are going to coddle him now.’ I knew right then, and there she had hit my son. We walked outside, and he told me what she did. I walked in the door, looked at her, and said it was over and that the wedding was off. I never looked back and would not piss on her if she was on fire.”
— u / Dadsoloof4
3.“I cheated, and it’s your fault, but we can get through this together if you do better.”
4.“My godfather, whom I was very close to, died. We were eating in the kitchen when I heard. I immediately left, in tears, to the airport to get to the funeral that was happening the very next morning on another continent. When I was back, 48 hours later, the first words out of her mouth were: ‘You didn’t do the dishes.'”
— uranium / ArcaniteM
5.“I’m related to a well-known singer. The guy I was dating turned out to be a huge fan, and all he ever wanted to talk about was said singer. One day, he asked if he could meet my family, and I was super happy. My cousin, however, was in Germany at the time and couldn’t attend. When he found out my cousin wouldn’t be attending, he threw a massive childish tantrum in front of my whole family and kicked over the BBQ. His words: ‘What was even the point of inviting me.’ I agreed.”
6.“I’m not attracted to you. Honestly, I have never really been attracted to you. A lot of the time, I’m somewhat physically repulsed by you.”
— uracil / PoisonLenny37
7.“I mentioned I didn’t feel appreciated. He said there was nothing about me worth appreciating. I cooked, cleaned, and paid all of the bills. I don’t care how much I loved him; that broke me.”
8.“He wanted us to try for a baby. I said I wouldn’t have a child until I was married. He then said he didn’t really see wife qualities in me. Why the fuck would you want to have a baby with me then?? I ghosted him.”
— uranium / swati_princess
9.“On our two-year anniversary, I took her on a four-day getaway. It was a big suite, her favorite French cuisine, concert, ballet, etc. The final night there, she says, ‘I’ve decided to finally completely commit to you and you only.'”
10."‘I just wouldn’t care if you and the kids were dead.’ I guess going completely without contact was the closest option available."
— u / EinFitter
11.“I didn’t leave immediately, but very soon after. They told me that they never cleaned up after their cat when they threw up. They said they simply let their dog eat it. When the dog got too old/deaf to hear the cat throw up, they’d simply lead the dog over to it so the dog would eat it. I noped out of there pretty quickly after that.”
12.“It had been rumbling for me for a couple of months, but the final straw was him calling my then 9-year-old daughter a bitch. Not to her directly – I would have lamped him on the spot – but to me in a conversation after he’d dropped her at school earlier that morning, saying how she was a bitch because she was quiet in the car. A 9-year-old kid. I told him to fuck off there and then and ended it. Who thinks like that? It still galls me years later.”
— uranium / Economy_Hat_2322
13.“He cheated on me, and four days later, I bought it up again, obviously, and he sighed and said, ‘Haven’t we already talked about this?’ He was extremely surprised I ended our relationship and bawled his eyes out like a baby.”
14.“You better be glad I didn’t sleep with my ex while I was mad!!”
— u / Nice_Necessary_1002
15.“I told my girlfriend I had a new high-paying job. Her first words were: ‘You can finally pay off my debt.’ I didn’t know about the debt, and I noped out of there like lightning. I found out afterward she had been pretending to go to work and then sneaking back in after I left for work. Her debt was around $10k. It was the best choice I ever made.”
16."‘I only cheated because you left me alone for too long. I love you, but I have needs.’ I was gone for two days on a business trip that I had invited him on."
– u / SageBroadus
17.“My first relationship was with a man who was ten years older, and we lived together. He told me it’s completely normal to get as angry and frustrated as he did, and it’s just how men cope emotionally and that instead of berating him, I needed to support him. When I googled how to support your boyfriend who punches holes in walls when he’s mad and a domestic violence hotline was the first link, I got a reality check.”
18.“He accepted a job in a nearby state, and we were going to try a long-distance relationship. While discussing it, he told me to make sure I still took my birth control so I wouldn’t ‘baby trap’ him to make him stay in the area. When he said that, it showed me how little he thought of me and how highly he thought of himself. I broke up with him on the spot.”
— u / Unhygienictree
19.“‘I pre-ordered two Cybertrucks,’ a guy I was on a first date with said who lived on a crowded street with no driveway and no yard."
TheNational Alliance on Mental Illnesshelpline is 1 - 888 - 950 - 6264 ( NAMI ) and provides data and referral services;GoodTherapy.orgis an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries who tolerate efforts to trim hurt in therapy .
If you or someone you hump is in immediate danger as a result of domesticated violence , call 911 . For anonymous , secret assistance , you may call the 24/7National Domestic Violence Hotlineat 1 - 800 - 799 - 7233 ( SAFE ) or chat with an advocate via the web site .
If you or someone you know is struggle with heart abuse , you may call SAMHSA ’s National Helpline at 1 - 800 - 662 - HELP ( 4357 ) and regain more resourceshere .
