" Rotisserie would be a beautiful name for a baby girlfriend . " — @Cactuscali1991

June is officially upon us!!! And IDK about you, but I’m ready to have a Caesar salad for lunch every single day for the next three months:

sound to have a caesar salad missy summertime . where i travel to destinations across the globe trying different caesar salads

Make sure to follow these funny ladies on Twitter (or X, whatever floats your boat)!

1.

my brother lost the costco membership in his divorce and had to get a new rank and is currently presenting paperwork to the costco people to leaven he ’s been a extremity since before may 2024 because he want his “ true ” membership tenure on his card

2.

i have it away watching sex and the city in my 20s because it lets me have it away i can still be a dumb kick in my 30s

3.

I ’m done boozing , unless my friend want me to , or I ’m out of town or if the weather is nice is the only exceptions

4.

it ’s gon na be a joe biden summer ( feed ice cream and forget where I am )

5.

back to layer . which is to say i was already in layer i ’m simply descend into a deeper more nuanced story of the bed experience

6.

“ i can set him ” no , i ca nt . i m a departer , a quitter and a walk awayer . i am my forefather ’s daughter . i will leave him .

7.

they should invent a swimming suit that does n’t make you want to pop yourself

8.

exchange my dating standard . do not approach me if you’re able to not properly operate a grillwork . leave me be if you would not wear a “ grillmaster ” apron at the memorial Clarence Shepard Day Jr. party . fellas who would n’t make a single turkey burger for my one finical supporter need not apply

9.

What ’s your guys ’s lovemaking terminology , mine is earliest when bf took a profoundly uncomplimentary photo of me eat then stared at it for several seconds and gnarl “ my little raccoon girl ”

10.

  • at my surprise political party * “ soo you Guy like have a groupchat without me ? ? "

11.

The grounds I ca n’t parallel commons is n’t because I ’m a woman . The reason is because there are railway car behind me and people look out and I ’m SCARED .

12.

In my baddie geological era but it ’s just me using the Good Book no

13.

Guys , it ’s not that hard to affect a woman . Just pop out a conglutination . Be the guy who unionized his work . It ’s a immense turn on . woman love it .

14.

you walked the mile in middle schoolhouse because you got winded from taste to run . i walked the mile in halfway school because i thought the presidential seaworthiness test was a directive get along directly from george w bush and if we ran on his orders it mean we supported the iraq war .

15.

desire a dulcet treat all the time is humiliating why ca nt i calm the sponge

16.

do you suppose god rest in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he ’s createdpic.twitter.com/lDKME7xuYD

17.

working at a nonprofit be likepic.twitter.com/TljWBgsWgA

18.

fame I am begging u to stop launching drink lines and start getting serious . Where are the railroad ? The concert halls ? The amassing of steel ? The bribing of senators ? feel like I ’m dealing with a lot of amateurs .

19.

Whenever my healer praises me for set honest boundaries , you’re able to bet my mom is the most livid at me she ’s ever been in her spirit

Don’t miss the funniest tweets by women last week:

23 tweet By Women This Week That Are Certified refreshing And qualified Hilarious