" My married woman , with a master ’s in biology , just disagree that penguins are birds . "
Hello, beautiful BuzzFeed readers, and welcome back to the panem et circenses that is my once-weekly Best Fails of the Internet roundup. Each one of these fails made me laugh this week, so please, enjoy!
1.This person’s manager:
left work ahead of time today because i threw up . i went to tell my manager and he said " i do n’t trust you , show me the emetic . “i show him the vomit"are you sure that is n’t someone else ’s vomit ? " ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
2.This thief who effortlessly pulled off a stunning tampon heist:
Pickpocketed in London by a quite quondam man . Saw him whip my purse out of the side sack of my suitcase . Was a nice purse I bought in Paris but swings and roundabouts - I use it to store my parking brake travel tampon . Have playfulness , tea leaf granda ! go for you only have a light to medium menstruation x
3.Having to have an app for EVERYTHING:
GE PLEASE FOR FUCKS rice beer I UNLOCK MY STOVE I JUST WANT TO MAKE SOME PASTApic.twitter.com/WTCVnjfRgG
4.This I’m-not-a-chef moment that I think each of us has been through at least one time:
saw a jolt of maraschino cherries at the store for $ 9.75 and tell to myself , no . this is a opportunity to learn something raw . so i stimulate all the fresh ingredients , involve them home , went through several recipe , and cease up making something that does n’t try out as good & cost more
5.Getting corrected on your high heel terminology by the guy you’re going out with:
go out with a guy and texted him in cash advance tell him i was wearing heels and that i did n’t want to walk too far and he shows up and the first thing he enunciate to me is “ THOSE AREN’T cad THOSE ARE WEDGES ” ok diva my speculative 😭 😭 😭 😭
6.This amazing take from this person’s wife (we all have our moments):
my married woman , with a masters in biota , just take issue that penguins are birdsshe then adamantly get out her phone , google something , then wordlessly put her phone down and continue as if nothing happened
7.This:
thinking about this garnish that came with my burritopic.twitter.com/DrXhowaY32
8.Universal to dads everywhere: reacting to even the most amazing news with nothing but “👍”:
pop 👍 reacted to me being awarded 10 THOUSAND POUNDSpic.twitter.com/SMwUbDKh2U
9.This bagel with approximately 42,098 calories in cream cheese:
when i said extra cream cheese…pic.twitter.com/MadzcCBplb
10.This abomination:
late deep-fried Cigaretepic.twitter.com/0mgfgrCvfT
11.THIS abomination:
Chicago sushipic.twitter.com/GOmMU5CWBh
12.This cooking fail:
Decided to make a nice pot pie for dinner party using remnant chicken . Was well into sauteeing the veggies before I realise I had no stock , no cream , and as it turns out , no leftover chicken 🙏
13.This loving moment:
wore lingerie and my bf said “ wow … it ’s like baldur ’s gate camp dress ”
14.Failing the vibe check of this cat:
star sign sitting and their computerized tomography does not fuck with me or my vibration whatsoeverpic.twitter.com/yusRxikweq
15.This poor child:
girl ate a handful of sour cream reckon it was trash cream and she slapped the mesa like it was a big shot at a bar
16.This Google Maps restaurant name:
Eating at Thepic.twitter.com/DGRYtx6mxX
17.The way this sums up the state of the job market:
pic.twitter.com/V534SlMWaJ
18.And finally, this person, who somehow managed to fly accidentally to Puerto Rico:
the bachelorette party ended … differently for charliepic.twitter.com/xkZv7G7BjU
